springtime, so far, has been full of sun.
early morning rays sneak through the curtains.
heat filled beams reach down from the sky.
the hills glow golden at dusk.
but spring days are also full of rain.
thunder roars so loud your head pounds.
raindrops splash relentlessly against the window.
cool refreshment brings healing and life to the soil.
the last few weeks have been full of sunshine and torrential downpours.
my heart has grown, my soul has groaned, and joy has sometimes eluded me.
i've been tested, challenged, corrected, and i'm sore.
but love, encouragement, and growth have faithfully followed - only by grace.
but knowing it's good for me doesn't make the climb easier or ease ache.
trusting that God has a plan is comforting, but it's hard just the same.
i found myself in the doldrums of confusion and worry more than once.
its wasn't a good place, and i knew i wasn't happy or at peace.
and then i remembered my happiness isn't found in me - or my circumstances.
my joy is a gift that's given to me, and based in someone greater, so much greater than I.
i have the opportunity to daily trust, to daily grow, and to daily be loved.
there is no greater joy to be found. anywhere.
it isn't all about me, but i do have my part to play.
and i plan on playing it.
or trying, at least.